Telling your friend randomly on Tuesday you have a feeling the guy you were seeing will move back home, to find out on Saturday that the guy you've been seeing is moving back home. 

Getting dumped sucks, what can I say? 

The only thing I learned (well, frankly speaking, it's time to just know it, as I've already learned it a bit too many times) is that if you have a feeling - it's not a feeling, you know. And if you've been questioning, second-guessing, and submitting one too many requests to Quora with dumb questions of a 12-year-old, then, well, surprise - things haven't been really going well. 

How to track it, when to know, what to do, and, most importantly, why is it that they just don't fall in love, are still the questions I so far haven't managed to get a reply to. 
I keep on scrolling through the quote - the girls who are ready to go to the other side of the world with someone are usually never invited to. And, well, it's true. So do I just fall for bad circumstances, or are circumstances always bad simply because they never fall back for me.. well. 

Funnily, everything we spoke about I thought of was on his mind as well. When I thought he didn't text much, he confessed to not being available, when I mentioned I loved how he hugged me in the movies that time - he confessed he was thinking of it too, was afraid it was weird, but went along with some instinct of protection. Well, didn't save us. I'm somewhere between wanting to cry, feeling like I was already over this thing a week ago when he became so damn unavailable, wanting to eat that chocolate banana bread, and throw up at the same time. Truth be told, I mainly need to sleep and get all that alcohol out of my system. 

We had a beautiful steak, we had one too many great drinks at my favorite Kink. For some reason, I needed him to come home with me. It was validation, I'm sure. We had an odd bath, and even odder sex, with my flat being covered in blood from a cut on a finger I managed to score earlier on. I cried all morning, we hugged and he left. The end.
Fuck man.